Now, I was never much for your ciphering and your book-learning and such. I’d make a durned poor post-structuralist semiotician, I’ll grant you that. But I still don’t take kindly to Fancy Dans looking down their Harvard noses at me and mine. So when the Motorola MPX200 Unlocked GSM SmartPhone strutted into town, it raised my bristles something fierce.

One look at its highfaluting built-in speakerphone and its suite of mobile Microsoft applications and I was sure the MPX200 would think I was some kind of hayseed rube. ‘Round here, we sure don’t see a 176×220 screen with 65,000 colors every day. An SD/MMC slot? Custom polyphonic ringtones? I thought a USB port was someplace where they unload ships.

But did the MPX200 put on airs? No sirree. With its unlocked GSM and its easy-to-use clamshell form factor, it’s just as easy to get along with as you please. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go water the pigs, repair the old well, and conduct a textual analysis of Roland Barthes’ Camera Lucida.

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