Why do we like car racing? Because it’s a socially acceptable reason to yell at people!

If everybody had to sit quietly to watch a bunch of rich guys driving on a closed track, who’d care? But when you’re able to yell things like “Turn Left!” or “Back Right!” or “Pit Stop!” and “Let’s Go!”, then you’re involved. You’re doing the one activity that makes you most American of all: screaming at a designated representative to force them to do what you say while ignoring anyone else. That’s the belief that’s made our country great since about ten minutes after General Washington took the oath, and that’s what unites us as a people. No wonder NASCAR is such a popular sport!

But if you start yelling when you’re not at the track, people will probably stare. “Did you hear that, Helen?” they’ll say. “Pete’s yelling in his own home! How un-American!” And then Helen will nod in agreement. And so we recommend you have a NASCAR Voice Command Rumblin’ Racer on hand at all times. Because then, when the cops show up, you’ve got a perfectly good excuse for your actions. You’ve just been driving the car!

A thirty foot range means that sucker can tear all around your front lawn. Using the adjustable Crew Chief Headset with the nine different voice commands, you’ve got hands-free turbo-charged yelling action ready to go. And, best of all, now you don’t need to spend all that time waiting in line at the snack bar. Just BYOB, grab your favorite lawn chair, and start enjoying that lovely summer weather while you scream your head off at a tiny toy car.

You’ve got the right to speak, don’t you? Sure do! So put that right to good use and have a little fun. And remember: you’re an American. If you want to break the rules and make your NASCAR Voice Command Rumblin’ Racer go right, no one can legally stop you. Not even the NASCAR officials themselves.

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