My dearest Shirley -

I am being driven mad by longing for you. As I trudge from private plane to limousine, from palace reception to diplomatic talks, all I can see is your lovely, round face and lovelier, rounder Afro. Today while I was addressing the Bundestag, I was haunted by images of you gracefully serving up sodas to Rog, Rerun, Dwayne and the gang. I was tormented by memories of the saucy turn of your hips as you sweep up Rob’s Place at closing time. When I called the Chancellor “Shirl” for fourth time, she asked that I leave her office. I fear I have lost any hope of reaching an agreement on a Security Council resolution, but what is mere statecraft next to a love this profound?

My love, I dream of the day I will have a Nexxtech PDN-0705 Portable DVD/CD Player. Its 7”, 16:9 LCD screen is big and bright enough to hold even your voluptuousness, and its Dolby Digital encoding conveys the rich, flowing depths of your brash tenor witticisms. And thanks to the lightweight design, automobile lighter adapter, and multiple video outputs, I can immerse myself in your world wherever I happen to wander in this one.

I will always carry the boxed set of your DVDs close to my heart, but gazing upon the cover without being able to watch them is sheer torture. I am not consoled by knowing that I will return home in a few days. A few days more without you? I can hardly bear it. But bear it I shall, for I vow to you now never to leave home again without the Nexxtech 7” 16:9 LCD Portable DVD/CD Player. Until we meet again, sweetest Shirley, know that you are forever mixing milkshakes at the soda shoppe in my heart.

With deep love -

George

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