What was that noise in the front yard? A home-invasion B&E squad? Mafiosi? Ninja assassins? Neighborhood urchins on a toilet-papering spree? Whoever it is, you’ve got company. And not the kind you serve party mix to, if you know what we mean. And not because they might have peanut allergies, if you catch our drift. You douse the lights and somersault down the hall to the screen door. These creeps, whoever they are, they probably figure they’ve got the drop on you. But you’ve got a few tactical advantages:

First, this is your home turf. You know the lay of the land—the sight lines, the keypad codes, which porch step squeaks, and how to cross the yard without falling into one of the tiger pits full of punji sticks.

Second, you’re equipped with Night Gear’s titanium night-vision scope. Its built-in infrared LED illuminator gives you a clear, sharp view of the situation even on the deepest, darkest, most starless winter night—like, for instance, tonight.

You tuck the Night Gear scope into your front jacket pocket, and its durable construction gives you a confident feeling, like holding a ten-dollar roll of quarters in front of GAUNTLET at the mall. You tug your balaclava down over your face and execute a perfect forward roll through the screen door and onto the side porch, just like Jack Bauer might, if he were encumbered with your rather more substantial BMI, and was on the 5th-grade girls’ gymnastics team instead of CTU.

You put the scope to your eye and scan the perimeter. There! The intruder’s at your garage door!

It’s your mother, bringing in the garbage cans. She flips on the light and suddenly you feel a little less bad-ass in your knit hood and flight jacket, and wish you’d had time to put on some pants too.

She’s screaming at you: What kind of sick individual dresses up like this to roll around the driveway? Why can’t you meet a nice girl and move away like a normal 31-year-old? Why don’t you ever remember to bring in the trashcans on garbage day?

Standing there, bare-legged, you feel ridiculous. But only until she throws up her hands and goes inside. You turn the light back off and once again you’re a hard-as-nails operator prowling in the darkness. Again you survey the scene through your Night Gear monocular. In the dark, you are King of Night Vision! King of Insight!

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