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It all started so innocently this morning, didn’t it, writer boy? You walked into your office, set down your morning bucket o’ cola and nutrient puck on a biscuit, and booted up the old computer ready to embark on another fantastic adventure in copywriting! What wonders would your product queue hold? What whimsical but less-then-informative narratives would you weave today?
‘Oh look! An Ooma Telo VoIP Home Phone Service device,’ you thought. ‘What an incredibly interesting and useful gadget for the person looking to free themselves from the perceived tyranny of the phone companies. Why, I just can’t wait to unleash my creative juices upon its unmatched voice clarity and reliability, not to mention the convenience of caller-ID and call-waiting at no extra charge!’ Your happy writer’s fingers dance across the mouse and keyboard, opening your word processor and typing the words “Ooma Telo VoIP Home Phone Service” in big letters right at the top. And then…
Nothing. No spark. No inspiration. Zilch.
‘No worries,’ you thought. ‘I’m sure I’ll think of something by lunchtime. After all, there’s got to be something funny about accessing your voicemail remotely by phone or web browser. Any minute now I’ll craft a masterwork of copywriting genius sure to set Twitter ablaze with chatter based on just the highly intuitive 15-minute setup alone, right?’
But the word processor had no words of encouragement, did it? All it did was wait for you to start writing, its tiny cursor just blink, blink, blinking away for one, two, three hours of time.
So you took a walk, playing over the features in your head. You tried sitting outside with an old notebook, scribbling the words “compatible with your existing home phones and most fax machines” over and over and OVER again. You rode the elevator up and down, up and down, up and down, hoping that the change in altitude might give you some loose plot to wrap around the 1.4 cents per minute international calling. But it didn’t happen. It just. Won’t. Happen.
You snapped at co-workers asking you to lunch. You tried beating at the side of your head with your coffee cup to jostle the stuck bit of your brain into working. You stared hard into the screen, memorizing every pixel that made up the words “high-performance firewall router,” “keep your current phone number for a one-time fee,” and “other premier features (additional fees apply),” BUT STILL NOTHING CAME.
And then the emails started, didn’t they? “Just checking on that write-up.” “Where’s my write-up?” “DEADLINE’S IN TEN MINUTES AND STILL NO WRITE-UP.” Oh, the teeth-gnashing tension! The brain-throbbing pain of being devoid of any and all ideas ever! It was just too much, wasn’t it? It overcame you, causing your conscious mind to shatter and black out completely. All you remember is a “snap.”
They say the fire made the national news, you know. No one was hurt or injured. Maybe a tiny piece of the good-hearted person you used to be set off the alarm before the raving monster you became tossed those matches into the gasoline-soaked hallway. But it doesn’t matter now, does it? In your comfy little cell and warm jacket, the outside world and its Ooma Telo VoIP Home Phone Service devices need not concern you anymore. Just take your pills and rest, buddy.
Rear View
Package Contents
Packaging
Warranty: 180 Day Ooma Warranty
Condition: Refurbished
Ooma Basic Member Features:
Ooma Premier Member Features (additional fees apply):
Usage Requirements:
In the box:
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