Which is awesome because I’m never getting rid of my VCR. Ever.

I call her Vicky. It’s short for Victoria Cosette Recorder. And I love her. Which, of course, is something my therapist likes to tell me is “an unhealthy emotional attachment to old technology due to unresolved feelings about my grandmother,” but what does he know? Not love, that’s for sure.

People, they’re always trying to get me to leave Vicky, to replace her with some Magic Disc Player or something. But Vicky and I, we made it through the hard times. I swore I’d never turn my back on her when Laser Disc was the big thing, and I’m not going back on that promise just because DVD is the newer, prettier thing. No. Way.

Sure, we have our problems. I still don’t know how to program her timer correctly. Sometimes, her heads get gunked up from something she picked up from a previous owner. And, yeah, things got a little rocky about a year ago when her remote went missing. But now that we can connect with each other using the Philips 6-Device Universal Remote Control around. It’s added a new level of spice to our relationship. Now I can press her buttons all the way from the comfort of my couch again, just like when we first met.

Speaking of which, tonight’s our big 20-year anniversary. I thought I’d make it special by doing exactly what we were doing the night we first met: drinking cheap beer, eating leftover pizza, and watching Wayne’s World down in my parent’s basement. Oh, yeah, Vicky. It’s gonna be magic.

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