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GoG-ear—or, more properly, Media-Induced Lobal Embulgement—is not life-threatening, but it can be a major social impediment. It comes from excessive media consumption through portable media devices (particularly those with ear bud style headphones), and presents as a dramatic localized swelling of the earlobes, giving the sufferer a hilariously stupid appearance. It’s tragic.
Owners of this Philips two-gig mp3 and video player are at particular risk, given the satisfying ease with which the unit plays music, video and FM radio. It can deliver up to 12 hours of playback—far above the recommended maximum length of a single continuous bud-insertion—and even offers a voice-recording feature and photo display.
All this, plus its easy drag-and-drop file transfer capability, means Philips users tend to spend dangerously long periods plugged into and gaping slackjawed at their devices, rarely removing the ear buds. It’s pathetic, really. And it’s a good way to go all GoG-eared.
GoG-ear is not like other earlobe disfigurements. A guy with “cauliflower ear” looks kind of badass, after all. Some chicks dig that. (Some dudes, too.) And those punks with the big, idiotic-looking, stretched-out ring piercings? Well, they did that on purpose, so presumably they’re into that, and maybe know other people who are, too. But a GoG-eared individual is attractive to no one. He or she will, unfortunately, be perceived as a hopeless “nerd” whose skills at human interaction are so impoverished that he or she prefers to listen to digital music files and watch 128×128 videos for hours on end instead of engaging normally with other people.
Inevitably, the stigma of GoG-ear leads to total ostracization, leaving the sufferer with fewer and fewer reasons to disengage from the media player. Someone with GoG-ear will not have no dates, for example. Nor workplace conversations, nor passers-by on the street asking him or her what time it is. Finally, nothing at all will ever compel him or her to even look away from the 1.5-inch screen.
Fortunately, this doesn’t bother people with GoG-ear very much, as they’d just as soon not be interrupted while their video podcast stories are on.
Warranty: 90 Day Philips
Features:
Picture/Display
Sound
Audio Playback
Still Picture Playback
Storage Media
Connectivity
Convenience
Software
Green Specifications
Power
Tuner/Reception/Transmission
Video Playback
Audio Capturing
In the box:
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