It’s a whole new year, and we want to make sure this orbit goes more smoothly than the last. We aren’t going to miss another appointment! We won’t come to work empty-handed on Secretaries’ Day! We won’t suffer another mirthless month deprived of the hilarious antics of that loveable loser Ziggy!

No, sir or ma’am, this year we’ve got a potent new weapon in the War on Forgetting When Stuff Happens. We’ve got a calendar.

Scratch that; actually we’ve got about a gajillion calendars. And for just a Susan B. each, we’ll send one, two or three your way. There’s a small catch, though—we’ve got a dozen and a half varieties of calendar to unload, and you won’t get to pick the one(s) you want. We’ve got desk calendars, wall calendars and mini wall calendars for your tiniest walls. There’s Gary Larsen’s uproarious “Far Side” and Anne Geddes’s disturbing photographs of child abuse. You might get a great one. You might… uh… not.

But even the least desireable among our calendars is a fully functional twelve-month scheduling system. Every morning, all year long, you’ll roll out of bed knowing exactly what day to T.G.I. You’ll have the lunar phases at your fingertips. And because these calendars are factory-printed with all the year’s special occasions, you won’t miss another Canadian Thanksgiving, Arbor Day or Purim.

You know the one that always messes us up? Cinco de Mayo. We can never figure out when it’s going to fall from year to year. (It’s May fifth this year.)

Don’t confuse this “Random Crap” sale with one of our sometime “Bag of Crap” events. For one thing, no bag is included. Instead, your calendar(s) will ship in one of our standard product transit units. That’s Woot warehouse lingo for a box.

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