Thanks to those tax-and-spend Democrats, the FDA is mandating that all gamers get a minimum amount of light each day. You can meet these crazy liberal-minded standards by just going outside and walking around the block. But who has time for that? That’s why some right-minded Republican invented the Razer Diamondback 1600dpi Gaming Mouse, so that you don’t have to take a break from shooting things. Especially electronic Commies! And Nazis! Because lets be honest, no matter what side of the aisle we’re on, everyone enjoys shooting digital Nazis.ne

It doesn’t matter if you’re using Acid Green or Plasma Blue, the 1600dpi resolution will make good old fashioned Nazi-shootin’ easier than arresting a Congressman in a park men’s room after dark. There are seven programmable buttons, which, like the junior members of a respected committee, will do exactly as they are told. And there are Teflon feet and a gold-plated USB connector. And who doesn’t like gold, right? Except in the case of economics, because then it’s better to work by fiat through a complex system that few people totally understand. And that’s something we can all agree on. Right?

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