We can rebuild him. We have the technology.

And he’s gonna be better, stronger, faster than he was before, sweetie. You just let me take him down to the basement laboratory and I’ll fix him up good and proper. He’ll be sleek and black, with a 1600dpi Razer Precision™ infrared sensor and ultra-large non-slip programmable Hyperesponse™ buttons, too. Once we replace his tiny paws with some zero-acoustic Ultraslick™ Teflon feet, fix up his tail with a seven-foot, lightweight, non-tangle cord with gold-plated USB connector, and add a little On-The-Fly Sensitivity™ adjustment, he’ll be just like new! Better than new, in fact, and capable of 1200 actions per minute! If you thought it was fun to play game with him in his cage before, just wait until you see the kind of games you’ll be able to play once we’ve turned him into a Razer Krait 3-Button Gaming Mouse!

No, dear, I don’t think he’ll be able to snuggle up to your neck anymore. I’m not sure cold plastic will be the same as his soft fur was. But, hey, if you thought it was fun to play games with him before, just wait until you see the kind of games you’ll be able to play once we’ve turned him into a Razer Krait 3-Button Gaming Mouse!

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