Boss, those I.T. logs HAVE to be wrong. You know I’d never play video games at work.

Look, there’s got to be some misunderstanding here. I’m just using the Razer Marauder StarCraft II Gaming Keyboard to increase my productivity! See, it’s set up with an optimal key travel distance that really helps me fly when fighting Zer- I mean, fighting zer-o tolerance with regards to not getting my reports finished on time. And then I can create keystroke macros on-the-fly… by which I mean, boy, is it easier to fill out a spreadsheet with this baby! Plus I can save ten different profiles, and that’s cool.

Why is it cool? Um, well, sometimes Larry in Marketing likes to show me… his presentations. You know, second set of eyes and all that? And he’s got this thing where he likes the buttons in a different way. Probably because he grew up in England. No, no, don’t ask him about growing up in England, he’s very shy about it and would probably just lie and say he was born in Maine. Say, have you ever been to Maine? No? I hear it’s lovely this time of year. All the lovely autumn colors. Which, by the way, is what those flashing colors on the Razer Marauder StarCraft II Gaming Keyboard are all about. It’s certainly not some kind of customizable in-game code that lets me keep track of events, no no no. It’s just my way of recreating nature’s beauty to keep my productivity high. Tell me, what season do you like better, autumn or spring? I’d probably have to say spring but I’m really curious what you’d say, and why you’d say it! Go on, expound on it for me, I don’t mind.

Changing the subject? I’d never do that! Incidentally, are we near the end of this meeting? Because I’m kinda of worried that my base- I mean, my half-finished email to the shareholders is going to need my attention in a few seconds. Yeah, it’s a time-sensitive thing, you know. Assigned by the big boss, he probably forgot to tell you. No need to bother him, really, I can just finish up myself. So, is it cool if I head back to my Razer Marauder StarCraft II Gaming Keyboard? I’m really eager to defeat- I mean, complete my project so I can get on to more work! Super productive, that’s me!

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