Okay, let’s get situated. Take five. Everbody in their places? Annnnd… action!

“Ay! It’s-a me! The freaking’ Pope-a! It’s-a niiiice, being-a the Pope-a all-a that time-a. You know-a what I got-a here? I got-a the mouse-a. See? It-a all cute-a and-a cuddly, it’s-a a Salmosa, and-a it-”

“Cut! Marty, really. Didn’t we get rid of this guy last time? Didn’t we talk about this? I don’t care that he’s a method actor deep in his role, I hate this guy. I hate him, Marty. So why’s he back?”

clickIt was a union thing, Jack. Focus on the Salmosa’s optical sensor. You know this thing is the fastest optical sensor in the world, so play that up. Maybe just try to work around him or something.

“Ay! I-a no like-a the ‘around’. The Pope-a ain’t-a no ‘around’. The Pope-a, he-a the ‘center’. He have-a the Pope-a-mobile and-a the Pope-a-cave and-a the Pope-a-sicle. It-a come in-a cherry and-a orange-a too.”

“You hearing this, Marty? Work around him? Marty, my whole concept for this was a Razer Salmosa 3G Optical Gaming Mouse fighting in World War II. It was going to be a heroic story of man against Nazi. A story of the struggle to overcome-”

clickThe Razer Salmosa 3G Optical Gaming Mouse isn’t just about games, Jack. It also works as a professional mouse as well.

“At’s-a right, and it’s-a Pope-a approved-a too.”

“Get out of my face, pal.”

“Oh! You-a no threaten the Pope-a again! The Pope-a strike-a you to Hell-a!”

“Any time you’re ready, buddy-boy.”

clickJack, now, come on, stay focused. Talk about the two buttons and the switch on the bottom that lets gamers change the dpi and polling rate without needing to install new drivers.

“You-a gonna get-a messed-a up, boy-a”

“Yeah, you talk a lot, Pope, but I don’t see you swingin’.”

clickJack, Jack, what are you doing, Jack, c’mon, don’t be stupid.

“You-a gonna learn-a a new dogma of-a pain.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m like the Razer Salmosa 3G Optical Gaming Mouse. I’ve got an Always-On mode.”

“OW! YOU-A BROKE-A THE POPE-A’S NOSE! THE POPE-A’S NOSE! SHE-A BROKEN INTO-A ITTY BITTY-A BITS-A!”

clickSmooth move, Jack.

“Marty, it wasn’t my fault. This guy just… I mean, that Pope thing! It’s just so offensive! I couldn’t help myself!”

“OW! THE POPE-A NO FORGIVE-A YOU! YOU-A GO-A STRAIGHT-A TO THE HOT-A PLACE! AND I DON’T-A MEAN HAWAII! OW! THE POPE-A GONNA SUE! SUE! OW!”

clickGreat, Jack. That’s gonna come out of the budget too. You better hope we sell a lot of these Razer Salmosa 3G Optical Gaming Mice today.

“Great. You know, this probably never would have happened if we’d gone with that guy pretending to be Greek Orthodox.”

clickDon’t make it worse on yourself, Jack.

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