Alright, RCA, what gives? Your DRC8060N DVD Recorder is going to give people the impression that y’all look upon television commercials as an unpleasant interruption of programming. Is that right? Because that is totally not cool. Who do you think pays for all our favorite shows? The sponsors, that’s who. You’ve got it backward, see—network shows are the filler between advertisements.

The shows’ sponsors, they fund hours of entertainment for us, and all they ask in return is that we watch a few pitches for their high-quality/delicious/luxury/affordable/essential/sex-appeal-enhancing wares. What does it cost you? A few minutes? Yeah, but nooooo, that’s not a good enough deal for you.

Sure, you’ll record the shows these generous advertisers underwrite in good faith—but then upon playback, when the time comes to hold up your end of the bargain—ZAP! You opt out with your “Commercial Advance” technology, which detects and automatically hides TV commercials. You’ve made it so viewers don’t even have to skip ahead manually. Your devious little feature just makes each commercial break its own chapter, then marks it “hidden.”

Seriously, RCA, is it so much to ask that you indulge a hilarious British insurance lizard for a minute? Not to exaggerate the gravity of it, but this is basically stealing, which Moses says is one of the Top Ten Worst Things You Can Do, Ever.

We’re going to sell this recorder, RCA, but only for its more conventional features. Our users are good, honest folks, who will use it to record video from TV, video cameras, or other video devices onto DVD+R/RW discs. They’ll appreciate its HD upconversion, which can feed DVD-quality video and audio to any HDMI-equipped TV. They’ll dig that it’s equipped with a USB port to connect to an MP3 player or digital camera. We trust they’ll recognize your dirty little “Commercial Advance” scheme for what it is—a siphon that takes food directly out of Ellen Pompeo’s already distressingly slim belly—and never use it.

For shame, RCA! Shame!

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