My day job? Banker. So when I come home, I really want to enjoy my hobby.

Let’s face it, a guy like me, I can’t get enough of driving the screws in. Fees, poor interest rates, gobbling up mortgages I may not actually have the paperwork for, that’s what I do ever day, and you know what? I love it! I love it so much, I can’t just leave it behind at the end of the business day! That’s why I bought a Ryobi TEK4 Power Screwdriver. And now, I can drive the screws in, any time I want!

The Ryobi TEK4 Power Screwdriver works four times faster than other brands, and that’s something I can appreciate. Like me, the other day? I was on the phone with some old lady crying about how she’d paid off her house in cash back in the ‘90s or something. I just put her on hold and made another call to some orphanage that was a day behind on their payment. And when those orphans started talking about grace periods or whatever, I switched back to the old lady! Doubled my efficiency, just like the Ryobi TEK4 Power Screwdriver will do for you!

It’s comfortable, and pretty nice, and comes with a staff of six bits to get it coffee and do the filing. This baby’s the corner office of screwdrivers, and I’m fast-tracked to getting my name on the door. With the Ryobi TEK4 Power Screwdriver, I can drive those screws in anywhere I like, and no government regulator can stop me here, no sir! Ha ha ha! Take that, drywall! The free market demands I hang a painting here! Ha ha ha! Ha ha- uh oh, I guess I made a mistake. Well, I’m sure the President will reimburse me for spackle.

Hey, this wall’s part of America, isn’t it? Why shouldn’t the taxpayers cover the cost?

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