Thumbelina sighed as she looked at the flowers one last time. All she had wanted was to listen to the SanDisk 512 MB MP3 Player that was exactly her size, and now here she was, trapped into an arranged marrage with Mr. Mole. It was like an Ice T song, she cried to herself, the oldest cliche in hip hop. Thumbelina knew her hip hop, just as she knew that the embedded flash memory of the SanDisk 512 MB MP3 Player made it ideal for tiny house parties, or perhaps jogging, if her size had matched her capacity for love. Soon Mr, Mole would carry her to his dark underground kingdom forever, down where the powerful Built In Digital FM Tuner could reach, but not the sunlight she loved so dearly. She wept as she wondered how she could replace even the single AAA battery she needed when the time came, or how she could handle the USB 2.0 cord that would plug into her Mac or PC to allow for transfer of the latest Kool Keith album.

It was as she was using the SanDisk 512 MB MP3 Player's built in voice recorder to lay down her tragic tale over some beats as heavy as Carlos Mencia's file of stolen jokes then she saw a bird high in the sky. "Thumbelina! I am the prince of all birds!" it called down. Thumbelina had been in bars before so did not believe that crap for a minute but she did think the bird was sort of cute and anyway he was her ticket out of this molehole, so when he yelled "Throw me the end of the included stereo headphones and I will lift you to my back and thus safety!" she didn't think twice. Quicker than you could say "Compatable with MP3 and WMA" she was on his back and soaring off into the sky, leaving Mr. Mole behind.

And they lived happily ever after.

Back to top