Attention stuffed-animal obsessives, Woot loyalists, monkey fanciers, and fans of ear-splitting screeching! America’s most irritating collectible is back in two all-new cape/cap colors! Take your pick of pink- or blue-clad Screaming Monkeys, and join the thousands of others who bitterly regret ever bringing that stupid thing into their homes!

If you’re new to the monkey business, welcome to the monkey house! If you’re an old Screaming Monkey collector from way back looking to add these two new models to your collection, let us extend our deepest sympathies to your family, friends, and co-workers.

But a word of warning: don’t go making assumptions about these monkeys based on the color of their capes. They’re not bound by society’s restrictive notions of gender. So we assume, anyway. We still haven’t figured out which ones are male and which ones are female, and not for lack of trying.

Just consider this offer our little way of saying “ARREEEEEEEEEEEEEEH! AREEEEH AREEEEH! AREEEEEEEEEH! AREEEH!” to those of you who endured this grueling Woot-Off, the ultimate test of man and F5 button. Of course, if you just came along a couple of minutes ago and don’t know a Woot-Off from Easy-Off, we’ll take your money, too.

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