Please welcome, presenting his masterwork “Ode To An Excuse To Talk About A Boning Knife That’s Part Of The Kai Shun Ken Onion 10 Piece In-Drawer Set”, the twelve year old inside us all.

Chef’s Knife, Chef’s Knife, Santoku
These are knives that work well, true
But there’s no knife that’s made for you
Like the 5.25 inch Boner.

Be proud, the gentle Paring Knife
Be called well made, be there for life
Or Slicing, but know, though you may try
You’ll never be a Boner.

Hail to thee, Utility
Included sharpening steel
But even though you have your use
Your name just lacks that feel

So strong be you, the other blades
In sets of ten the buyers rave
But though you might cut the live-long day
You’ll never be a Boner.
No, you’ll never be a Boner.

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