You’ve got the sawdust on the floor and the wooden “Lunch – 5 cents” plaque on the wall. You’ve got the barber pole and that painting of Custer’s Last Stand. You’ve even grown a handlebar mustache, at considerable cost to your career and romantic aspirations. But something is spoiling your painstakingly-constructed W.C. Fields saloon ambience: your Internet phone.

This travesty must not stand. The JAHT SkyVogue JSP-202R Old-Fashioned USB Internet Phone may enable Skype calls with an easy USB plug-and-play connection, but its heart lies at the turn of the last century. From the McKinley-era styling to the archaic ringtone, this is the Internet phone that Alexander Graham Bell would use, if he weren’t a dusty pile of bones.

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