My Most Beloved Brian,

Darling, imagine my heart-rending quandary. There I was, finally accepted into that goatherding internship in Kyrgyzstan, the culmination of years of goatherding study. And I’d be the first woman ever accepted into Kyrgyz goatherding society. I was elated – until I realized that I would have to face each day without being able to see you behind that anchor desk.

I could have died! To be torn between a lifelong passion for goatherding and the newsman who owns my heart – o, the agony! And this would be no mere weeklong vacation, no brief David Gregory fill-in, but every day for weeks and weeks on end. Could I endure it? Would I be able to concentrate on my work without you? Would that be fair to the goats – or to myself?

Mother said she’ll send tapes every week, but it’s not the same. I’m told there’s a satellite dish at the camp, but I’m sure the other goatherds usually tune it to cricket or bear-wrestling or some other weird foreign sport. I was at a loss, sinking deeper into despair every day. Only those precious 23 minutes with you every weekday kept me sane, and I knew I’d be losing even that.

Then, by chance – or by fate? – I found it. The wondrous device that can keep us together across any distance: the Sling Media Slingbox AV. All I had to do was hook it up to Mother’s cable box or DVR, connect it to the Internet, and install the software on my laptop. Then I’d be able to watch and control whatever was on that TV, from anywhere in the world with broadband access. But how cold and bloodless these words seem. The only thing that matters, my dearest, my darling, is that I’d have you back in my arms. Your debonair suits, the perfect part in your perfect hair, the wry twinkle in your eyes. My Brian. My everything.

It doesn’t matter that I have to get up at 5:30 in the morning to watch you. I’d get up at minus-fifty o’clock, if there was such a time. Wherever your face appears, Brian of mine, I’ll see it. And I won’t have to give up my dreams of becoming a fully certified goatherd. I leave for Kyrgyzstan on Thursday. With the Sling Media Slingbox AV in my valise and you in my heart, I dream of the endless days ahead, when your beady eyes will look deep into mine and all the news will be good news.

Your faithful viewer, friend, and lover -
Stephanie

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