They called us Soyo Freestyler 500 with Bluetooth USB Adapter Dongle. But we were just a couple of guys who liked to travel. We made a big score and got some cash, and decided to head down to New Orleans and check things out. Maybe discover America on the way.

Soyo Freestyler 500 had this custom job, real modern. He could fit in the ear, you know, with his ear hook. He even fit in a shirt pocket. Real clean cut, coat-and-tie, looking like he came from a good family. The chicks went crazy for him. Especially at that commune.

Me, I was just along for the ride. I got my share of attention too, just not like Soyo. They’d come up to me and say “Bluetooth USB Adapter Dongle, you’re always right there by your buddy!” and I’d say “Never more than 33 feet away, baby.” We had our own security too. Pairing, encryption, authentication, didn’t matter if he was with a cell or VoIP on a PC, we always knew where we were and what was going on. In case we needed to split in a hurry.

We probably shouldn’t’ve been playing around in that parade. The cops got mad and that’s where it all started falling apart. Our AC adapter tried to talk us out of it by they didn’t care. We said we supported hands free and headset profiles, they didn’t even listen. Told ‘em I was Bluetooth 1.2 and they said I was lyin’. We had six hours of talk time on two hours charge time and it didn’t even matter. They had their minds made up.

We should’a gone then, but we met two Foam Ear Covers and, well, it got a little crazy. One of ‘em wouldn’t shut up about this guy she liked named Mickey. I said she should write a song or something and that made Soyo laugh. Something about that night made us notice we weren’t finding what we wanted to find. He and I looked at each other and we just knew. It was time to move on.

We decided to go to Florida, maybe retire on that cash. Outside of town this truck pulled up. Called us refurbs, like that was an insult. Soyo said “Hey, man, we ain’t no refurbs!” because that was true, and then suddenly I heard the shots. I turned around real fast and they got me too. Didn’t even get a look at them. And now, here I am, lyin’ on the ground next to him, still within a 33 foot radius. Ol’ Soyo Freestyler 500 with Bluetooth USB Adapter Dongle. We always said we’d be buddies until the end.

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