Have we ever had a product with a more serious name than the Stanley FatMax Xtreme AntiVibe Rip Claw Hammer? We asked around, and the answer is no, no we have not ever had a product with a more serious name than the Stanley FatMax Xtreme AntiVibe Rip Claw Hammer.

In fact, the Stanley FatMax Xtreme AntiVibe Rip Claw Hammer marks the first time that we hope we don’t sell a single unit of a product. Because, you see, we came up with a lot of jokes for the Stanley FatMax Xtreme AntiVibe Rip Claw Hammer. Jokes that involve rapper supergroups. Jokes that involve Rob Liefeld superhero teams. Jokes that we’d very much like to share with you over the coming weeks and months.

But, sadly, we were terrified that we might not be able to write for the Stanley FatMax Xtreme AntiVibe Rip Claw Hammer ever again. You see, the Stanley FatMax Xtreme AntiVibe Rip Claw Hammer is a nice hammer. It has patented torsion control grip technology to reduce the effect of torque on wrists and elbows, just like Mjolnir. It has a Magnetic Nail Start feature for one-handed nailing. Yeah, we have a joke for that, too. It ties in nice with the “patented AntiVibe technology” bit. Trust us, you’re gonna love it, if you ever get to hear it.

Basically, that’s why the Stanley FatMax Xtreme AntiVibe Rip Claw Hammer is in the woot off today. Because we’re worried that if we put it up for a full day, they’d all go away and we wouldn’t have a chance to use our jokes. But you guys, the ones who sit here at 7:30 at night, you’d never manage to buy an entire shipment of Stanley FatMax Xtreme AntiVibe Rip Claw Hammers in less than an hour, right? Right, guys?

So you guys get ready. Because the next time this comes up, we’re gonna blow your minds! Unless we somehow sell out completely. But what are the chances of that?

Back to top