“Observe, Cricket. A great lesson is about to unfold before us. Look there in the distance, my student. What do you see?”

“I see two ninja warriors in a moon-lit field, Master.”

“And what is it they are doing, Cricket?”

“They are facing each other and brandishing their weapons. One warrior holds a blade the likes of which I have never seen. It is so finely constructed that, even from this distance, I can tell that it is sharp enough to slice apart the strongest armor.”

“And the other warrior? What does he wield, my student?”

“He appears to be holding a Sunpak Compact Monopod extended to its maximum length of 60.6 inches. It also has a fine construction, as well as a removable locking ball head, comfortable neoprene hand grip, neck strap, and a belt/waist clip.”

“Very good, Cricket. Your eyes are very sharp. Now tell me, which ninja has the advantage?”

“Well, the second ninja’s weapon is very lightweight and can fold into an easily portable 16.5 inches. However, the first ninja is… using a sword. I believe the first ninja will triumph, Master.”

“Hoo hoo! You do, do you? Well then, let us observe their battle. See how they race toward one another! See how they leap into the air to strike! And behold! Watch as the second ninja… falls to his knees as he attempts to shove his entrails back inside himself. Well, crap.”

“Excuse me, Master, but what was the lesson here?”

“I suppose it is, ‘Never bring a monopod to a sword fight, unless you are the hired photographer.’ Now then, let’s move along, Cricket. There is much more to learn.”

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