I’m a little teapot. Short and stout. And you know what? It’s all about confidence.

You walk up to some soda drinker and mumble something about your four included storage jars while trying to wipe away the sweat, of course they’re gonna laugh. But you strut up there, get right in their face, and start talking about your handle and your spout and your 24 canisters of Green Tea with Jasmine, you’re gonna get noticed, and how.

News flash, glass spout, if you’ve got the walk it doesn’t matter what you look like. Check out Jersey Shore sometime. Ugly people with horrible clothes, but the whole world is paying attention. And why? Because they’ve got attitude! And that’s what you can have, once you focus on your strengths.

Look, I’m not saying to be arrogant. I mean, I’m as humble as they come. I’ll tell you right now, I’ve got an FDA approved silicone ring to keep my lid secure, and a patent-pending filtering spout to keep the tea ingredients inside the pot while letting liquid out. It ain’t all natural here, you know? But once you’re out in the world, who cares? Because what matters is the tea you make now, not the tea you started with then. And that’s what you’ve got to focus on, because that’s what they’ve got to see.

Short? Stout? Sure! I’m also all glass, so you can’t use hot water directly. But when I show up poolside or at an afternoon picnic, what are you gonna hear? “Wow, Suzie, what a fantastic tea pot!” So don’t sit at home crying about how you’re little and fat. You get out there and you own it. You own who you are. You grab the world by the shoulders and scream “I’M A LITTLE TEAPOT AND ME AND MY INCLUDED TEA AREN’T GONNA TAKE IT ANY MORE!”

Hey, thanks for being here at the The Ultimate Tea Experience seminar today. Remember to leave your email on the clipboards at the back so we can contact you next time we’re in town. And how about a big round of applause to the nice people who run this hotel conference room, huh? Huh? All right, yeah! Yeah! Positive energy, yeah! Wooo!

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