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“Hey, Kevin. Long time listener, first time caller, and I’m calling about a 2011 Ferrari California. I’ve got a particularly odd problem I’m hoping you can help me with today.”
Holy geez, Johnny, that’s quite a machine! And you say it’s already giving you trouble?
“Yeah, strangest thing. Been back and forth to my mechanic’s with it and they can’t seem to figure out what the problem is.”
Well, let’s see if I can give you a hand. What seems to be the trouble?
“Okay see, this all started as I was driving away from the dealership just after buying it. I was gonna go home, show the car to my wife and maybe take her for a spin, you know? All of a sudden, the car just veers off my route home, drives me to a strip club just outside of town where my wife finds me hours later, drunk on cheap beer with a strange woman giving me a lap dance and my paycheck blown!”
You, uh… You don’t say.
“Yeah, isn’t that weird? I was hoping it might be a one-time thing, but just about a week later as I was driving home from work to enjoy the anniversary dinner my wife slaved over to make, the car ended up driving me to one of those seedy hourly-rate motels! If my young and extremely attractive secretary hadn’t been with me, I don’t know how I ever would’ve made it home the next morning. Does that sound like an electrical problem to you? Maybe something engine-related?”
Um, no. No, not really.
“But it’s gotta be the car, right? Because it just keeps happening! Some nights, it’s the race track. Other nights, it’s a college frat party full of half-naked co-eds with daddy issues. And what’s worse is I think it’s really starting to affect my marriage.”
Well, Johnny. I suppose you might try getting a GPS unit for your car to help guide you back home. Though I really don’t think…
“A GPS unit, you say? Tell me more!”
Right, well, uh, the TomTom XXL 535T 5” Portable GPS is a particular favorite of mine. It comes preloaded with premium maps of the US and Canada and, thanks to their Latest Map Guarantee, you download a complimentary map update within 30 days of your first use of the system. Plus with features like Advanced Lane Guidance, lifetime traffic updates, and IQ Routes™ Technology, you’ll never fail in finding the fastest route wherever you’re going, whether your destination is home or the therapist’s office, even to a divorce lawyer.
“Sounds fantastic! And is this something I can drive to a store and pick up?”
You know, I’m gonna recommend you order it online and have it delivered. Might be best in your situation.
Just look at all that viewable screen size!
Fold & Go Easyport Mount
Mini USB Power Port
Package Contents
Packaging
Warranty: 1 Year TomTom
Condition: New
Features:
Technical Specifications:
GPS
Screen
Dimensions
Battery
Memory
Supported Languages
Spoken navigation instructions come in the following languages
- English AU, Afrikaans, Portuguese Brazil, Bulgarian, Catalan, Chinese Cantonese, Chinese Mandarin, Croatian, Czech, Danish, Dutch, Estonian, Finnish, Flemish, French, German, Greek Hungarian, Italian, Japanese, Latin American, Spanish, Latvian, Lithuanian, Malaysian, Norwegian, Polish, Portuguese, Romanian, Russian, Serbian, Slovakian, Spanish, Swedish, Thai, Turkish, UK English, US English
The user interface comes in the following languages
- Afrikaans, Catalan, Czech, Danish, Dutch, Estonian, Finnish, Flemish, French, German, Hungarian, Italian, Latvian, Lithuanian, Norwegian, Polish, Portuguese, Slovakian, Spanish, Swedish, Turkish, UK English, US English
The user interface/application comes in the following languages
- Catalan, Czech, Danish, Dutch, Estonian, Finnish, Flemish, French, German, Hungarian, Italian, Afrikaans, Malay, Latvian, Lithuanian, Norwegian, Polish, Portuguese, Slovakian, Spanish, Swedish, Turkish, UK English, US English, Spanish (Latin American), Portuguese, Brazil
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