I like tacos as much as the next guy at the office. But every day, Tom? Every day? I’m done trying to reason with you. This is a job for the Vornado.

Normally I’m the kind of guy who’d say it’s your business what you eat. As for what you’re doing to your digestive system, that’s between you and your gastroenterologist. But you don’t seem to recognize that this is an office made up of cubicles. Cubicles that are close together. Cubicles that are decidedly not airtight. Cubicles full of people routinely sickened every afternoon by the foulness you bring upon us.

Since you’ve resisted my gifts of PB&Js and Beano, and the HR department claims it’s powerless to take action, I’m calling in the Vornado 630B Circulator Fan. This 13” tall, 9.25” fan – much bigger than the Vornado Clip sold previously at Woot – can push air like John Entwistle’s bass amp, with three speeds moving air up to 70 feet. The only thing I wonder is whether it’s ever been tested under the intense battle conditions you create in this office every day. But you go to war with the fan you have, right?

The ones I really feel sorry for are the poor saps in the downwind cubicles. But I’ve suffered long enough. If they don’t like it, they can give me an office with walls.

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