Seriously, we don’t care how deeply you love the culinary arts, is there anything more tedious than grating cheese? What your kitchen needs is some kind of media station to preoccupy your mind while you tend to the dreary drudgery of the domestic dough-puncher. Otherwise, if you’re like us, your thoughts will inevitably pool in the darkest gullies of your brain, and you’ll end up fixated again on plotting your ultimate revenge against your enemies.

Such thinking is bad for the heart, especially combined with a big pile of grated cheese.

Westinghouse’s “iCEBOX”—apparently named by some marketing hack prone to bumping the caps lock—won’t slice, dice, mince, rinse, roast, toast, fillet or frappé. But it will let you browse the web or play DVDs, CDs, TV and FM radio programming while you do. Prudently, there’s no mouse to get full of morsels and orts; instead the iCEBOX uses touch-screen navigation. An included stylus helps you keep the screen clear of buttery smudges, butterfingers—but this kitchen companion was designed with your sloppy food-prep habits in mind, so you can just wipe the 12.1-inch flat anti-glare LCD with a non-abrasive cloth and vinegar-free household cleaner as needed. The screen rotates, too, for easy viewing from the sink, stove or butcher’s block. By the way, if you have to rotate the screen when you move from the sink to the stove, you’ve got a much bigger kitchen than we do.

Imagine making dinner straight from an online cookbook, or checking the web to find out what the devil a ramekin is, mid-recipe. Imagine getting all the way to the intermission in “Lawrence of Arabia” while scouring your skillet to remove the charred remains of bacon gone wrong. It can even work as a home/baby monitor, if you add your own remote camera. Face it: After a thorough cleaning, some roach traps and a set of proper plates not made of polystyrene—the iCEBOX is just what your kitchen needs.

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