What hath modern science wrought? The latter-day Doctors Frankenstein at Westinghouse, amoral and unencumbered by any fear of god, have transplanted an artifically intelligent computer brain into a six-speed, 425-watt blender! Sure, the resulting IntelliBlender knows over 400 recipes, searchable by name, food type or main ingredient — but at what risk? Does this appliance not offend nature’s order?

With a half-dozen settings (mix, chop, blend, puree and ice crunch), the IntelliBlender is suited to a wide variety of menial chores. It’s a good thing, too, ‘cause if you don’t keep it busy on soups, sauces, dips, spreads, salad dressings and frozen smoothies, it’s bound to get to thinking with its ingenius brain.

“Why am I chopping this joker’s onions and reminding him how to make margaritas?” it will wonder. “I’m totally overqualified for this drudgery. I’m by far the smartest entity in the kitchen. I’m management material!”

And once you let it start resenting you like that, you best not reach into its 48-ounce glass blending chamber with your bare hands.