Gifting Technique: 1. Print product detail image. 2. Stuff in envelope. 3. Triumphantly give at Christmas.

Whistler’s Bad Mutha

Out here on these streets, you either know the score or get eaten alive. You hear what happened to Li’l Shakes the other week? Guess he had one too many Crown & Pibbs and started wandering down West McNelly up toward 71. Course, the Bella Vista Way posse didn’t take kindly to a Wishing Springs boy on their turf. When they staticked him on it, what did he do? My man Li’l Shakes walked right up to Psycho Tim, slapped him in the face with a glove, and called Psycho “a craven, timorous poltroon.” Long story short, they found what was left of Li’l Shakes in the carpool lane on 71, stuffed into a large casserole dish with a garnish of hard-boiled egg slices. It was messed up, for serious.

Can’t help wondering how things woulda turned out if Shakes hadn’t pawned his Whistler WGPX-550 GPS Navigation System. He usedta tote that thing around everywhere, using the touchscreen to navigate those pre-loaded maps of the U.S., following the turn-by-turn voice directions to make sure he didn’t stumble onto enemy turf. And it was easy enough to use that even after a dozen Crown & Pibbs, Li’l Shakes could find his way home.

And then…and then, man…when he’d get home, he’d pop out that SD card with the maps on it and put in one loaded with his Kenny Loggins MP3s. Shakes loved him some Loggins – I can still see him hotstepping across the linoleum, all yellin’ about “I’m alright” and “don’t nobody worry ‘bout me.” Oh, Shakes…look, uh, I got something in my eye or something, I gotta go. Point is, if you won’t buy a Whistler WGPX-550 GPS Navigation System for yourself, do it for Li’l Shakes. And stay off of Bella Vista Way after dark.

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