Now, don’t take this personally. Nobody’s calling you, specifically, a dummy. We leave diagnoses like that to the educators and mental-health professionals. Let’s just say, we’ve been keeping an eye on your Wine.Woot purchasing history and it looks like you could use some help. So, in a non-judgmental way, we’re offering this Wine Basics for Dummies set.

In plain English, it’ll teach you how to tell your Cabernet Sauvignon from a hole in the ground. Put those walk-a-thon giveaway sport bottles away – with this set, you’ll get four sparkling wine glasses or four white wine glasses, as you choose. Never again have to endure the shameful stares of the other diners at fine restaurants as you stumble your way through the wine list. Never again be humiliated in your own home because you served a white wine with microwaved frozen burritos.

Not that we’re judging you. Just because you do idiotic, moronic things doesn’t necessarily make you an idiot or a moron – or, indeed, a dummy.

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