We’ve been watching you, young one. We’ve carefully followed your journey toward wine enlightenment. We have shared in your triumphs and sorrows, your frustrating, misguided stumbles and your happy, drunken stumbles. And we are satisfied that you are ready for the awesome responsibility upon which we will deign to bestow upon…uh, we kind of got lost there. Whatever, you know what we’re trying to say.

Point is, you’re ready to handle the Wine.Woot Tool Kit. The engraved handle and substantial heft of the Rutherford Double Hinge Corkscrew bespeak its significance as a symbol of your wine maturity. It’s certainly a lot more grown-up than that plastic Miami Dolphins corkscrew you’ve been using. The Wine.Woot emblem also adorns the heavy-duty Spike Stopper and the Foil Cutter (made of genuine faux wood – don’t settle for cheap imitations). Now, verily, now you are a true wine lover, with the tools to prove it. Feel free to say “verily” as often as you like now. It’s one of the fringe benefits.

Legend says that he who is not pure of palate will be unable to lift the Wine.Woot tool kit, no matter how manful his strivings. But be warned: if this turns out to be the case with you, it will not be covered by the 90-Day Woot warranty.

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