My ideal Saturday afternoon? Going lingerie shopping with my funny gay friend Stuart.

It’s not easy for me to make friends. Women always get jealous and guys just want to get me into bed. Not Stuart! From the tanning salon to my aerobics class, there he is, paying close attention to everything I say and do. He’s always making funny remarks like “Make that tush jiggle for me, you little minx!” And always playing with that pen of his.

He’s just a really great friend. Most guys hate shopping, but Stuart will come right there into the changing room with me and watch me try on like fifty different outfits. And not in that bored way that most guys do. He’ll really get into it, telling me to turn around or bend over so he can get a better look at the outfit. It’s really helpful.

Funniest of all is when he pretends like his pen has the hots for me. “Uh-oh, Mr. Pen senses cleavage in the vicinity,” he’ll say, holding the pen like it’s looking down my shirt. Or like the time he accidentally left his pen in my bathroom while I was showering: “Wow, no wonder Mr. Pen is so rigid!” Coming from a straight guy, that would all be totally creepy and gross. But not Stuart!

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