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PC: (opens eyes, looks around room) He-hello? Where…
Surgeon: Take it easy, take it easy. You’ve been through a lot. But it appears that the wireless-enhancement surgery was a success. How are you feeling?
PC: So tired. Weak.
Surgeon: That’s perfectly natural at a time like this. After all, we had to open your case to connect that Zyxel M-302 802.11b/g Extreme MIMO PCI Adapter to your motherboard. You’re going to need at least ten minutes to recover. Maybe fifteen.
PC: (tries to sit up in bed) Ow! So…sore…
Surgeon: Whoa there. Just sit back and relax. I’ve had some ketamine added to your IV drip, so get ready for a pain-free ride through the psychedelic looking-glass.
PC: Cows are freaky when they look at you...
Surgeon: Sounds like it’s working already. As soon as you recover, you’ll enjoy fast, reliable 802.11g wireless connectivity with channel-switching MIMO technology thanks to your new Zyxel M-302 802.11b/g Extreme MIMO PCI Adapter. The enhanced range, the WEP and WPA encryption, the easy set-up – it’ll change your life. You’ll feel confident, attractive, ten years younger.
PC: That's the toughest squirrel meat I've ever eaten...
Surgeon: And even though you’re still recovering, it’s not too soon to think about switching out that 5db antenna for something more powerful. That procedure isn’t nearly as invasive.
PC: Wait, wait…what are these fleshy lumps here…? I don’t remember having these…weird…
Surgeon: Oh, while you were under, I took the liberty of grafting on a pair of breasts. I just had some extra implants laying around, and I thought a set of round, full breasts would really be the finishing touch for your new look. Don’t worry – no extra charge!
PC: But…but…I’m a computer, not a woman. You turned me into some kind of grotesque monster…I’m an abomination…
Surgeon: Oh, I wouldn’t say that. I think you’re very appealing. You know, I’ve been looking for a new desktop PC with 802.11g wireless connectivity and large, heaving breasts. I hope you won’t think I’m too forward, but are you owned by anyone right now?
PC: Help…me…someone, please, help me…
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