Uh-oh. A white cape. Once Elvis started wearing one, it was all downhill for him.

We’re hoping the lack of sequins and rhinestones and gold embroidery will help our Screaming Monkey stay aloft for the foreseeable future. But it’s not a good precedent. If anybody hears about the Screaming Monkey giving away Cadillacs, or jetting out to L.A. once a month for his special enema, then we’ll really get alarmed.

Oh, and that insane shrieking isn’t just the cry of a kamikaze monkey with an easily-stained cape. It’s the figurative bell tolling for the end of yet another Woot-Off. Our regularly scheduled programming returns at midnight. We hope you’ve enjoyed our company as much as we’ve enjoyed our company. And thanks for enduring jokes like that one.

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