“And the site that gets to sell the Toshiba DVD Player w/ 1080p Upconversion & HDMI tonight is… wow, they should make these easier to open… is sellout.woot!”

Oh. Oh, my! I never… wow, this Toshiba DVD Player w/ 1080p Upconversion & HDMI, this is a big deal! Especially for me! I can’t believe they gave it to little ol’ sellout! I have to say, I guess I always hoped someone would let me show off a refurbished HDMI player, but, you know, being a whole different sort of site that’s always off to the side, I never expected… Oh, I don’t even know what to say! I’m so thrilled! It’s just such a big deal for me to feel like I matter! I mean, to be showing off a DVD player that upconverts to 1080p with 24 frames per second? You don’t even know how happy I am! I promise you, I’ll never forget this wonderful memory. This is such an honor. Okay, here goes! My big moment! Ahem. I think everyone should buy this Toshiba DVD Player w/ 1080p Upconversion & HDMI because-

YO, SORRY, BUT I GOTTA BUST IN HERE. HEY, YA’LL, THIS IS WORLD FAMOUS SUPERSTAR WOOT DOT COM, AND NO DISRESPECT AND I’M GLAD FOR SELLOUT AND ALL THAT BUT SHIRT.WOOT SHOULDA HAD THIS ITEM TODAY, AND I MEAN THAT FROM MY HEART, BECAUSE THIS TOSHIBA DVD PLAYER W/1080P UPCONVERSION & HDMI ENHANCES CONTRAST AND PLAYS MUSIC CDS AND PICTURES AND HAS INTELLIGENT COLOR ALMOST AS INTELLIGENT AS ME AND IT’S BASICALLY THE GREATEST DVD PLAYER IN THE HISTORY OF TIME AND THAT INCLUDES THE FUTURE AND THE DINOSAURS BECAUSE SHIRT.WOOT IS AN EVEN BETTER SITE THEN SELLOUT, LIKE I SAID, NO DISRESPECT, BUT I THINK IT COULD MAYBE BE THE BEST SITE IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE EXCEPT FOR ME AND THAT GOES FOR THE MARTIANS TOO BECAUSE THEY EXIST NO MATTER WHAT THE HATERS SAY. AND SO I WAS BACKSTAGE WITH MY FRIEND KAT AND WE HAD THIS HENNESSY WE WERE PASSING AROUND AND WE DECIDED IT WAS A TRAVESTY THAT HAD TO BE CONFRONTED HEAD ON, NO DISRESPECT, SELLOUT, AND THE WHOLE WORLD SHOULD KNOW THIS TOSHIBA DVD PLAYER W/1080P UPCONVERSION & HDMI SHOULDA BEEN OVER AT SHIRT.WOOT BECAUSE SHIRT.WOOT IS HOT AND I WANT TO TAKE SHIRT.WOOT BACK TO A HOTEL ROOM RIGHT AFTER THIS IS OVER AND CONSOLE IT BECAUSE IT GOT ROBBED OF A CHANCE TO TELL YA’LL ABOUT THE 3D SURROUND SOUND THAT THE TOSHIBA DVD PLAYER W/1080P UPCONVERSION & HDMI HAS BUILT RIGHT IN SO I’M ASKING ALL OF YOU AT HOME TONIGHT, PLEASE, CONTACT THE WORLD COURT IN GENEVA, SWITZERLAND AND HAVE THEM INVESTIGATE WHO WAS TRULY BEHIND THIS BECAUSE WE SHOULD TRY TO HAVE EVERYONE INVOLVED WITH THIS THING ARRESTED FOR WAR CRIMES, NO DISRESPECT TO SELLOUT BECAUSE I’M HAPPY FOR YOU, REALLY, BUT EVERYONE INVOLVED WITH THIS HAS TO BE PUT IN JAIL FOREVER UNTIL THEY ROT AND DIE, AND NOT A LITTLE JAIL EITHER, A BIG JAIL, A GREAT BIG JAIL WITH UGLY GUARDS AND NO FOOD. HERE’S THE MIC BACK, SELLOUT, CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN. PEACE, YA’LL. CHECK WOOT DOT COM EVERY DAY. IT’S A BETTER SITE THAN THIS ONE! NO DISRESPECT.

Oh! I… thank you, I guess for… the help. Maybe I needed it, you know… all over here on my own every day where nobody remembers to visit… I wasn’t really expecting to even have this anyway, I would have been happy with those remote control helicopters… that reminds me, before all that I was planning to talk about the included remote control but… maybe I don’t really deserve to have this a Toshiba DVD Player w/ 1080p Upconversion & HDMI… everybody’s staring now… can we just maybe cut to that girl with the blood and the wheelchair again? No, it’s… it’s just the lights getting in my eyes, I’m fine, I’m… What? Oh, right. Buy the Toshiba DVD Player w/ 1080p Upconversion & HDMI. Yeah, I got to say it just like I always dreamed. Thanks for the pity claps everybody. What an honor. I’ll never forget it.

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