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A Tentacle Full Of Dollars: Woot Weads The Wire

by Scott Lydon

Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

TORONTO (UPI) -- Canadian space program officials say the planned launch of two lunch box-sized satellites show "you can do really exciting things in space" on a small budget.

The satellites will contain equipment to measure the brightness of stars, a small computer to relay the information back to Earth, and a note that reads "Your mother and I are so proud, have a good day at school."


Lunchboxes, stacks, Strong National Museum of Play, Rochester, New York, USA


SAN FRANCISCO (UPI) -- San Francisco's California Academy of Sciences says it hopes to raise and mate a species of octopus so rare it hasn't yet been assigned a scientific name.

The octopus with no name was captured in a small reef near the Mexican border, trying to play two schools of fish against each other. A sequel is expected.

SAN ANTONIO (UPI) -- Construction of a Texas water pipeline was halted due to the discovery of the same spider that halted a highway project.

Insiders say the workers arrived at the site this morning to find a dew-encrusted web that read SOME PIPE.



MOSCOW (UPI) -- The engines of a Russian space freighter docked with the International Space Station were fired to readjust the station's orbit Friday, officials said.

The engines were surprised by this move in the middle of the week, since most firings tend to happen on a Friday.

SYDNEY (UPI) -- Police in Australia said a man threw a TV set, a bicycle and kitchen ware at officers, and then set an apartment on fire, before he was hauled off to jail.

Please remember: though it looks easy to create a Woot-Off, always leave it to the professionals.

Lunchboxes, stacks, Strong National Museum of Play, Rochester, New York, USA from Cory Doctorow and portions of Pipes (tubi) from seeweb are used under a Creative Commons License.