Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.
BEER-SHEVA, Israel (UPI) -- Teens listening to music they prefer while driving make more errors than those listening to music specially chosen to promote safety, researchers in Israel say.
Which is good news for the band Men Without Hats!
WICHITA, Kan. (UPI) -- The man who stole a bronze bust of poet Robert Frost from Wichita State University in Kansas in 1987 said the theft was a drunken prank.
Insiders say the man assumed no one would see him, as he took the bust less traveled by.
HOMESTEAD, Fla. (UPI) -- A Florida man whose camera was snatched by an alligator in February said the camera resurfaced months later with one picture surviving on its memory card.
Alligator specialists say they had no idea that an alligator could even make that duckface.
ZURICH, Switzerland (UPI) -- Drive-through "sex boxes" were opening in Zurich Monday to try to reduce blatant prostitution and organized crime and protect women, Swiss officials said.
Insiders say each of the "Sex Boxes" will include a prostitute, a small soda or juice, and a collectable pre-wrapped toy. This month's theme: Star Wars!
PADUA, Italy (UPI) -- An Italian teenager said he received an unexpected phone call this week and spent the next eight minutes chatting with Pope Francis himself.
The teenager said they made plans to hang out, but the head of the Vatican Bank had grounded the Pope, saying "(The Pope) knew what he did!"