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Live From the Internet: Star Spangled Banner Edition

by Kathleen Richards

Well, well, well, friends. 4th of July is soon upon us and it's time for me to share one of my favorite yearly traditions with you: watching internet videos of people butchering the national anthem.

Yes, our national anthem is a patriotic masterpiece. Yes, it's a beautiful poem and a beautiful piece of music. But it's also very hard to sing and very hard to remember the words to.

Which is great news for those of us who can't get enough of these videos where people can't hit any of the notes or remember any of the words. Let's start off with a classic.


Michael Bolton. Ha. Get out of here!

The thing is, once you get off track with the lyrics, it's all over.

I mean...

And, finally, my personal favorite.

And now the winner of this week's GOLDEN COMPUTER AWARD is...well, wait, we gotta see the prize first:

It's so shiny I almost need sunglasses.

This week's winner is...bsmith1 for sending this wonderful gif of a raccoon riding a scooter:

See, that's all it takes. Just a regular old gif of a racoon riding a child's scooter. It's as simple as that. Congratulations bsmith1! Feel free to grab that badge for yourself, if you so choose.

If you wanna win the GOLDEN COMPUTER AWARD next week, send me a national anthem. It could be a good one, a bad one, or just one you think is cool. Or send me something else patriotic, like a cool gif or a funny link. Let's take this 4th of July weekend to celebrate what really makes America great: freedom. That is, the freedom to post funny stuff on the internet and the freedom to waste all of our time watching it. If that's not the true pursuit of happiness, then I don't know what is.

Happy 4th of July, everyone!