The Debunker: Are Blondes Going Extinct?

Bad grooming in November: it's not just for the fellas anymore! It's been over a decade since the birth of Movember, the famed mustache-growing event that benefits men's health charities. Now there's No-Shave November, in which of both sexes can show solidarity with cancer patients by skipping the razor or waxing appointment, and donating their usual hair expenses to cancer research. Ken Jennings of Jeopardy! fame will be with us all month, untangling all manner of hairy misconceptions and follicular falsehoods.

It's going to happen somewhere in Finland in the year 2202, the Sunday Times predicted a decade ago. The invention of warp drive? Super Bowl CCXLVIII? Keith Richards's farewell show? Nope: the birth of the world's last natural blond, according to the World Health Organization. The genetics is simple, according to this oft-cited study: the allele (gene variant) for blond hair is recessive, and won't be able to stand up under the onslaught of dominant brown and black hair alleles. If you're blond, you're doomed. (But, as a blond, you're probably not smart enough to read The Times, so you don't even know it.)

In fact, scientists told the BBC, there's no evolutionary disadvantage to being blonde, so blonds won't disappear, though their numbers could drop slowly over time. This news cycle was repeated in 2007, when a rash of reports about "redhead extinction" were traced back to promotional "research" funded by Procter & Gamble. But I think there's more going on here than viral marketing for hair dye. When Snopes took on these myths, they found a chain of "RIP blonds!" stories going all the way back to the Civil War! Rumors about blond hair and blue eyes going away seem like a not-especially-coded way to poke at old fears about miscegenation, "racial pollution," etc. Yuck. Even if that last Aryan superman were scheduled to die in 23rd-century Helsinki, I hope we'll be over this kind of dog-whistle news story by then.

Quick Quiz: What is Elle Woods's favorite color in the Legally Blonde movies?

Ken Jennings is the author of six books, most recently his Junior Genius Guides, Because I Said So!, and Maphead. He's also the proud owner of an underwhelming Bag o' Crap. Follow him at ken-jennings.com or on Twitter as @KenJennings.