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The Four Stages Of Holding A Tesla Gun

by Sean Adams

So, Scott and I went to the Seattle Mini Maker Faire this past weekend and attended a presentation entitled "The Tesla Gun" (because why would you NOT go to something called "The Tesla Gun"?). Well, Rob Flickenger, the gun's maker and primary wielder, showed up a bit early, so, to kill a little bit of time, he decided to walk around and chat with the audience. While he did, I snapped some pictures that inadvertently told a story: The Four Stages Of Holding A Tesla Gun.


You wake up in the morning feeling excited all over again! You did it! You finally did it! You finally built a tesla gun! You feel as though you're floating! Every limitation that's ever been placed on your creativity has been lifted! You feel like you can do anything! And more importantly, you feel like you can electrocute anything!


Wait a minute, the reason you feel like you can electrocute anything is because you CAN, in fact, electrocute anything! After all, you've got a Tesla Gun. A real working Tesla Gun that can shoot for 30 continuous minutes on one battery. The world is your oyster. To electrocute. Why would you electrocute an oyster? Why not? And a better question, what fool dares question your choice to send a electricity through a bivalve mollusc? Maybe he or she wouldn't be so judgy with a mouthful of LIGHTNING!


It gets lonely wielding such power, doesn't it? Everyone says they respect you, but do they really? Or do they just respect your Tesla Gun? When's the last time you actually connected to someone? In the emotional sense, that is; not via a high voltage current that shoots through the air like a tentacle made of pure light.


You've been holding that heavy thing for a while now! Jeez! You must be tired. A quick nap probably... wouldn't... hurt... as long as you... don't drop... the... Tesla... Gun...