The Unexpected Kit Kat Challenge

by Scott Lydon

Did you know that has friends in London? It's true! Though we don't ship overseas, we've got pals in all corners of the world, and every so often, the time we waste being civil to people pays off. Huge.


You see, Kit Kat UK is having a little blast of democracy right now, and they've got some brand new flavors. After the jump, you'll get to hear the voice of TRUE freedom, as our 100% American writing team chows down on some British delicacies (and a token US Kit Kat for balance).


Aren't you sorry you weren't here to join us? Yes, you are. Yes, you are.

Naturally, the super-civilized British have a talent for candy that far surpasses that of any other nation, so everyone was very excited. Before eating, we took a moment to meet all the flavors.


Ready to dive in? Okay. Competition... on!


Anyone who's anyone knows that standard American Kit Kat up there. Crunchy, chocolatey, wafery and grand. What is there to say? Everyone agreed: it was a Kit Kat all right. A solid 8.5.

Now, it gets serious. Here's the Chunky Kit Kat, and this is where the debate began.


While the chocolate was better quality, most of the room felt the wafer ratio was negatively impacted by the increased size. In the same way an ant hit by an enlarging ray would be unable to stand, so too did this Chunky Kit Kat collapse before our judges. It was rated 7.5 despite claims of a clear anti-European bias.

Next up was the Coconut Kit Kat.


Amy said it best: this was clearly not real coconut, but someone cared enough to make it a high quality imitation. Jason found it "bright, clean, lively." Coconut was the first real contender for the brave young American, and scored a solid 8.5!

On the decks? Chocolate Fudge.


See that extra second layer of chocolate above the wafer? Though it sounds like a good idea, in practice, the extra burst was just a bit overpowering, and the necessary wafer flavor was buried beneath a chocolate wave. Judges were split, however, with some rating it high and some rating it low. The controversy sent poor Choc Fudge spinning out of the lead with a 7.8.

Now it was time to test the Hazelnut, one of the most anticipated contestants.


Though it seemed to have the most creme, thee were no complaints from any of the judges on this one. Hazelnut was solid, delicious, and inoffensive. One of the more cynical observers went so far as to describe it as "The Forrest Gump of Kit Kats" but there's one in every crowd, right? Hazelnut ended with a unsurprising 8.9 and the best chance at the gold. But there was still one last contender…


Disclosure, that Mint Kit Kat there was the one Sean was most waiting for since the start. And it did not disappoint him, earning a Sean Adams vote of 9.0 and being described as "like a Girl Scout Cookie!" with a nice mix of filling and wafer. And yet, the mint was not as popular with the other judges. Jason felt it was too mouthwashy, and Amy refused to even take a bite (due to her personal hatred of mint). These biases forces Mint into a tragic 8.0 score, a huge blow to the scrappy young candy bar. But let's be fair here, the ultimate winner was, in fact, the judging team.


Remember, if there's one thing we Americans do best, it's ruin the elections of other countries. So head on over to and demand your right to use our democratic process on their independent monarch-based socialism! And thanks to our dear friend Matthew for helping to make sure these Kit Kats crossed the ocean. As always, you're the Tops.