Wootpocalypse: July

by Randall Cleveland
Flickr photo Apocalypse? by Michael Lehenbauer used under a Creative Commons License


What would you do if the world seemed to fall apart before your eyes? Follow one man's diary of his descent in Wootpocalypse, Woot's new horror series.



July 1
Happy Birthday to me! And hello to you, journal. No more "brilliant" ideas lost forever because I didn't have a notebook on me to write them down!

July 1
Don't ever come to one of Hank's meetings unprepared again. What a friggin' jerk. Comedy idea: guy who has to be contrarian to everyone about everything. Even to the point where he defends Hitler!

July 1
Oh goody, another random "terrorist warning" from the NSA. Idiots. Comedy idea: NSA tries to reintroduce the color code as something hip and new. Rainbow?

July 1
Okay, getting better about writing ideas down. Now I actually have to start turning them into something!

July 2
Pick up stuff for tacos for dinner.

July 2
Really have to start working out. Started huffing and puffing walking up the stairs to the office today. It's three floors! Yikes. Gym tomorrow!

July 3
Sweet Jesus this meeting is never going to end. Okay, ideas. Hmm. Screenplay: guy goes on European vacation, falls in love with hooker, rescues her from international sex slave syndicate. Title: "Red Light District." Hero's name should be Mason something. Mason…Sledge? Mason Murphy? Too Stan Lee.

July 4
It is the 4th of July and I am getting absolutely trashed. I don't care what you say, journal. You can't judge me. I'm picking up Valerie and heading to Tim's and I'm not gonna stop drinking until someone makes me stop!

July 4
?? 11p?
Holy s&%*. What th

July 10
Almost forgot about this thing. Been so nuts since the 4th, all I can do is watch the TV. Looks like Al Qaeda or whoever f*&%ed it up. Bunch of bombs went off in almost every major city, but no fatalities? Looks like it was supposed to be a biological attack but some idiot's Mr. Chemistry playset failed or something. Freaked us the hell out, though. One went off right over the city during the fireworks display. Val and I got the hell out of there. She's been staying at my place since then, finally convinced her to head home. Kind of nice to have my place back to myself, to be honest. At least I can fart with impunity again.

July 11
Is it wrong to kind of wish something serious HAD happened so I'd get a few more days off? No quarantine means back to work.

July 17
Can't sleep. Feel like I'm having trouble breathing. Cold sweat. Messed up thing is I'm actually hoping it's the flu. Stupid bomb scare has me all freaked out I'm gonna wake up with a mouth full of anthrax or something. Does anthrax go in your mouth? I don't even know.

July 20
Food (canned/frozen)
Bottled water
Toilet paper
First Aid
Ginger tea Valerie likes
Duct Tape
Tarp/Plastic sheets
Knife? Gun?

July 23
Keep forgetting about journal, but too much going on. Turns out people are getting sick. Trying to stock food and water, but my apartment is like 700 square feet and mostly filled with computer crap. Working from home. Reports of looters. I hope having a light on is enough to scare 'em off. Not sure what I'd do if some dude broke down my door wanting my canned tuna. He can have it, I guess.

Everyone's still in the dark as to who planted the bombs, but my money's on China. If it is a bio attack, that's a little beyond anything a bunch of bearded weirdos living in caves could have pulled off if you ask me. Freaky.

July 26
Talked to mom. People are getting sick there, too. Luckily if anyone's prepared to hunker down it's her; finally her Costco addiction pays off! I wish she was here so I could keep an eye on her. Still can't get hold of Dad.

July 27
Can't hardly sleep. News is saying most hospitals are over capacity. Work gave me an indefinite furlough, which I don't mind since business has all but stopped entirely anyway. Apparently there were similar explosions throughout Europe and the Mid-East. Still no word on what the hell people are sick WITH, which is pretty freaking scary. Tough to tell what's legit information and what's hearsay online. I've read everything from bird flu to Ebola, from "dangerous only to the young and infirm" to over 90% fatality rate. Kind of freaked out.

July 28
Holy s&%^. I think I just chased off my first looter. Potential looter, maybe. Proto-looter? Some dude sniffing around my door for way too long. I'd seen him on the street panhandling, but there's no one on the street any more. I watched him from the peephole, just sort of pushing on my door. Probably testing to see what's locked and what's not. I opened the door and scared the crap out of him. He ran away before I could even say anything. Thank God. Was worried I'd have to bust out that Kershaw knife I picked up. I feel bad; dude just needs some food or something, but everyone's in full on hoarder mode.

Haven't heard a peep from the neighbors. Not like they were all that friendly anyway. I think I'm the youngest here by 25 years. Valerie's coming over. Gotta clean. Need to go get more supplies, but I heard there was a riot at the Wal-Mart. At least people know how to treat each other at Safeway still.

July 28
Val made it over safe and sound. She brought a ton of Instant Ramen. Also brought her stupid cat. Oh well. She's worried about her car, but I don't have an extra parking space.

July 29
Holy s&%&. This is f&%*ed. People are dying. Like, by the hundreds. I cannot believe what I'm seeing. This is some Stephen King end of days s&%*.

July 30
CNN is saying there are literally more dead bodies than spaces in morgues now. This kind of thing doesn't happen here. WTF. Should have picked up some of those surgical masks. Val is losing her mind. Still can't get dad on the phone, but I talked to Tracy and she said she had dinner with him the other night and he was freaked out. Mom says she's okay, but she keeps asking me to fly back home. Valerie's parents are at their lake house, of course, so they're fine.

July 31
There is a dead body outside on the street. I woke up and it was there. I called 911 and they said they'd try to respond. Valerie hasn't stopped crying.

I am really starting to get freaked out.