Our boss said we had to write a press release about the new free shipping benefits for Amazon Prime members, so we did. Then our boss said we had to put it up on the website, so we did. Now our boss says we have to get the story published by the New York Times. We're still working on that one...
Behold, the greatest press release ever issued:
WOOT! WOOT! – FREE SHIPPING FOR AMAZON PRIME MEMBERS ON WOOT.COM
Ridiculously good deals, silly jokes, monkey mischief, and now FREE shipping for Prime Members!
“THE BIG D” – Feb. 22, 2018 — Woot!, the site that brings you ridiculously good deals on stuff that you need and stuff that you didn’t even KNOW you needed (but totally do, let’s be honest), announced today that Amazon Prime members will now get FREE shipping on Woot.com. YEP. YOU’RE WELCOME. All members need to do is log in with their Amazon account by going to woot.com/prime and PRESTO!
“Ooh, ooh, ohh, this is a HUGE deal,” exclaimed Woot!’s monkey mascot, Mortimer. “I mean, I’m a paid spokesperson for Woot!, so I’m supposed to be excited, but this actually really IS exciting!” The news was met with equal enthusiasm and similar responses from fellow monkey mascot Monte, and the incredibly handsome Woot! CEO John Alteio, if he does say so himself. And he does.
Part of the fun of shopping on Woot! is that you’ll never know what you’ll find. As the original daily deals site, Woot! sells everything and anything, from pizza beach balls and dinosaur bottle openers to top-of-the-line items like Dyson vacuums, Lenovo ThinkPads, Black + Decker tools, Kitchen Aid Mixers and Beats wireless headphones. Amazing, you say? Yeah, we know. Oh, and we’re also the home of daily monkey chats, silly product write-ups, and time-wasting polls. We love a good joke as much as we love a great deal.
But wait, there’s more! From time to time, you may be one of the lucky ones to score a “Bag of Crap” on the site. A bag of what? Yeah, you heard that right: Bags of Crap (or BOCs, as Woot! calls 'em). A BOC is a random collection of stuff that Woot! shoves into a box and sends to you. Wooters have received a single shoe, rubber duckies, a giant metal rooster, brand new headphones, shirts, and even the occasional laptop. You'll never know when they’ll appear on site, and you never know what you'll get! We just want to make our crap, your crap, so when you see it, get it! I mean, we can’t believe we’re still writing. This is a no-brainer.
Oh, another thing we almost forgot, limited-time deals are offered every day on Woot.com. You can find some of the best treasure featured daily across seven categories including home & kitchen, electronics, computers, tools & garden, sports & outdoors, original t-shirts and even gourmet food. Whaaaaat? That’s a lot. Wooters should check back daily to beat out others and to get the best, coolest stuff. Be a Wooter. You know ya wanna.
So now, on top of unlimited shipping, shopping and entertainment designed to make your life a little easier, all while shopping on Amazon, Prime members can also get free shipping while shopping on Woot.com! Not a member? Start a 30-day free trial of Amazon Prime at amazon.com/prime.
Woot! Woot! Free shipping for Prime members on Woot.com. To learn more, go to woot.com/prime
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Ok, this is serious because it’s a boilerplate, so no jokes here. Starting…NOW. Woot! is the original daily deals site, founded in 2004 and snatched up by Amazon (NASDAQ: AMZN) in 2010. Originally, Woot! offered just one product per day until it sold out. Today, Woot! offers special daily deals and other limited-time offers across seven categories, including computers, electronics, home and sporting goods, plus original t-shirts, on Woot.com.